Thursday, May 29, 2014

Oh to be different...

If only I was _________

My sweet 2 year old Josselyn woke up crying the other day. When I asked her what was wrong her exact words were, "I don't want my short, curly, hair" she was crying crocodile size tears while tugging on her hair. I quickly told her how beautiful her curls were and she cut me off saying, "I want long straight hair like you mama". It was not easy calming her down, she even talked about how Jewel and Dada have straight hair (although John's hair is not really straight!) Eventually she settled down and we went on with the day. The next day Josse was hanging out with YaYa and they went to McDonalds. YaYa handed Josse the happy meal toy which was a long, straight haired, blonde, Barbie doll.  Josse took the doll, wrinkled her forehead, scrunched her nose and said, "YaYa does this doll have straight or curly hair???" YaYa quickly took the doll twirled its hair around her finger to give it a wave and said, "It's curly Josse!" Josselyn thought for a moment and then decided that answer would suffice. Then Josse looked at YaYa and said, "YaYa what about your hair straight or curly?" YaYa knew she couldn't lie so she told Josse that her hair was indeed straight but she wished she had beautiful curls! Josse then took her fingers gave YaYa's hair a flip and said, "YaYa your hair can be a little curly" lol 

I love her morning bed head :)

Today Josse had another little melt down. This time she cried and said she wanted her hair to be in a "line" like mine and Jewel's (I guess a line is another word for straight) and she didn't want to have curls any more! This time I tried telling her that everyone loves curly hair and I started to name all our family/friends with curly hair. She calmed down and I was able to quickly divert her attention. My heart has been sad and broken for my little girl the last few days. It was actually a few months ago that she started to recognize that everyone had different types of hair. She would ask YaYa, Mimi, Me, other Aunties what color there hair was and if it was straight or curly. I know Josse is not the only little one to ever feel different. My sister "MiMi" was adopted from China as a baby. She out of anyone knows what is is like to look different then the rest of her family (yet I always wished I had MiMi's gorgeous, thick, dark locks!!!) 

Josse's sweet curls after a little wind and rain

COMPARISON is the most awful thing and it creeps in at even the youngest age. It brings about feelings of insecurity, low self esteem, jealous, envy and the list goes on. Think of how many times we have wanted something else, whether it be something physical: being taller, shorter, thinner, curvier, blonder, darker, etc or maybe it was wishing you had _________ : a better job, nicer car, bigger house, what he or she has, etc. To live out life content and satisfied is a very hard thing and it will only happen when we put our full trust and confidence in God. A few versus to lean on are, (Psalms 139:14) "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." And in (Philippians 4:11) Paul says, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am in therewith to be content."

Josse and her "best friends" aka cousins

I want so badly for Josselyn to see herself through my eyes. I see her so beautiful and perfect and I would not change one single thing about her. But as perfect as I see her God see's her even more perfect because He hand designed her and created her exactly how she is. My prayer is that every girl young and old would see themselves how God sees them. (Psalm 139:13) says, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb." We live in a society that constantly makes us feel imperfect and not quite good enough. The truth is until we find our identity in Christ, our maker, we will never been content and satisfied. 

So when those feelings of "If only I was _____" creep in, remind yourself that you are were designed individually and uniquely. You are a one of a kind masterpiece and you are priceless.