Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Two Under 2...

These last 2 months have been a complete whirlwind!

On one hand I feel like Julianna was just born yesterday, but then on the other hand it feels like forever ago that I was in the hospital giving birth! (well having a c-section). Anyways, these past 2 months have been pretty crazy to say the least and I have been almost absent from the blogger world. Basically for the past 8 weeks I have been trying to learn how to balance my life...actually I have just been trying to survive and keep my head above water with two little girls, both under the age of 2! 

Where do I even begin...
A typical day for me consists of changing around 20 diapers a day (and I am not exaggerating). Newborn babies poop/pee constantly. I think I change Jewel alone at least 12 times a day and then Josselyn probably 5 times a day. We go through diapers, wipes & desitin like crazy!!! I thought it stunk buying Pampers for 1 baby but try buying them for is utterly depressing lol. Now not only are there constantly diapers to change but there is constantly a child to feed! I am breastfeeding Jewel, so she eats 6- 8 times a day and then Josse eats breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack & then dinner. So I either have a baby at my boob or I am feeding a totally picky toddler! Then there is the crying. Sometimes I feel like there is at least one child always crying! Julianna is a wonderful baby, but if she is hungry, poopy, gassy or needs to burp she will let you know. I do love the little newborn cry she still has but I do not love to hear it when I am trying to shower for the 1st time in 3 days or trying to pee because I have held it for the past 2 hours. Then there is my almost 2 year old Josse. Currently she is having a melt down at least once a day. Right now Josse is absolutely testing her boundaries like crazy. Out of no where she has decided to try and push her limits, disobey when I tell her something and even throw herself to the floor on occasion when she doesn't get her away. Now I absolutely love Josselyn's energetic, happy, bubbly, strong, personality. I can already tell that she is going to be a natural leader who people are drawn to. However, the little strong willed streak that appears at times is NOT fun! I will not even get started on how long it takes me to get them both ready & try and load them up to go somewhere (I am now late everywhere I go) and then it is near impossible to go to any store with 2 babies that both need to be in the shopping cart. Call me a total weeny if you want, but I almost never venture out with the two of them if I am by myself. If I have somewhere to go I try and drag John, my mom, or one of my friends along with me. I am sure I will eventually get over my fear of going out alone with both girls, but as of right now I wouldn't even know what to do if they both started to cry at the same time or if Jewel got hungry and Josse decided to pitch a fit. Well that has been my life lately with 2 under 2 but I know what they say, "This too shall pass" and there have definitely been times that in the midst of baby chaos I have had to remind myself of that.

Now although my life has been totally crazy with two little princesses both under the age of two. There has actually been some really great things about this season in my life. Although, I have 2 little girls that both think they need my 100% undivided attention at all times, there is actually something really precious about knowing that both of your kids really NEED you. I know that one day my girls will be much more independent and there will even be times when they don't want me right by there side. There will be a day when they aren't home with mommy all day long and at some point they will even want to spend their weekends with friends and not their daddy and I. But for now both of my babies want to be held by mama all the time (I have actually mastered how to hold them both at the same time!) They both like to be rocked to sleep, they both like to cuddle and snuggle and they both rely on me for everything. Sure it is hard to divide my time between my girls and it is impossible for me to give both of them my undivided attention 24/7. But I really do love the whole baby stage and right now I most definitely do have 2 precious babies that the Lord has entrusted with me. I love my two girls more than anything in this world and I am honored that I am the one they call MaMa.

So although things have not been "easy" lately and there have been plenty tears between the 3 of us haha I would not trade this time or this season for anything in the world. Sure it has been hard for my OCD, controlling, perfectionist self to adjust to life right now, but I bet you anything that one day I will look back on my life and wish I could go back and relive these sweet moments with my babies. So for now I am going to try my very best to just calm down, relax and cherish the precious time I have with my two baby girls. This time will fly by way too fast and I know that one day I will miss it and all the craziness that came with it.

(James 4:14) Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Fathers Day Thoughts...

Fathers Day...

I have said it before but this is a day that brings about so many mixed emotions for people. There are those who had amazing biological fathers and there are those who had incredible adopted fathers. Some grew up without a father or maybe even watched their father walk out on them. As sad as it is many grew up with unkind fathers and even abusive fathers. As we get older many of us will lose our fathers or some like I have already lost them.

I feel blessed to have had an absolutely amazing earthly father. My daddy loved my brothers, sister and I with his whole heart. We were his whole world and he was so proud of each of us. I never once for even a second doubted his love for me. When I look back I realize that he showed me what unconditional love was and for that I am eternally thankful. My dad was probably the hardest worker I have ever met. He would work 50+ hours a week and on his days off he would have worked out at the gym, been to the grocery store and already started a load of laundry before 8:00am! He then would go on to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner before noon!!! (I am dead serious) My mom would always say "Greg why are you cooking spaghetti for dinner at 12:00pm no one wants to have to reheat cold spaghetti at 5:00pm tonight!" haha. My friends would always laugh because whenever they came over my dad would always try to feed them! Even if you said you were not hungry 5 times he would still come in my bedroom with a breakfast burrito, steak or big bowl of spaghetti and try to make you eat it! My dad's love language was giving gifts and I will always remember waking up as a little girl and opening up my ribbon & bow drawer (yes I had a bow drawer which is probably why my girls always have to wear bows!) and I would always find a candy bar and little note in there from my dad (and that is probably why I have such a big sweet tooth) It was little things like that, my dad did all throughout my life that I will never forget.

I am thankful for the 22 years of great memories I had with my dad and I am beyond grateful that my dad was there to walk my down the aisle on my wedding day. I feel so blessed that my father was there to give me away to the man that is now the father of my girls. But even though I had those 22 years with my dad it does not make it any easier having him gone now. I know what it is like to have a loving father but I also know what it is like to lose a father. The pain of losing my dad was imaginable and 7 years later I still have terribly sad days. I know my dad is in a better place but that does not take away the longing to hug him, talk with him, ask him for advice or just smell his scent one more time. I so badly wish he could have met my girls because I know they would have just adored him. On days like today I just have to remind myself how lucky I was to have had a great earthly dad and be thankful for the time I did have with him.

Although I can get sad missing my father on a day like today, joy immediately fills my heart when I think about my husband John, the wonderful father of my girls. I really do not think there could be a more incredible husband or father. I just love watching Josselyn light up when John gets home from work, she absolutely adores her daddy and I can not wait to watch Julianna fall in love with her daddy as well. My girls are so blessed to have such a loving, caring and hard working father. I am so thankful to have a husband who loves me, loves his children and loves God with every once of his being. John is more than the man of my dreams because in all honesty I never dreamed of marrying a man as amazing as him. I love you John and am honored to be your wife.

Now I do not know your story or what emotions come to your mind when you think of the word father. But regardless of what type of earthly father you have/had (good or bad) I want to remind you that we have a heavenly father who is PERFECT. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). He loves you unconditionally regardless of your past mistakes, short coming or flaws (Jeremiah 31:3). And He thinks you are perfect and delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17). So even though "Father's Day" is about giving honor to our earthly fathers lets not forget to honor the ultimate father who created us all. He is the very definition of love (1 John 4:8) and He is the only PERFECT FATHER.
So on a day like today I will remember my father, be thankful for my daughters' father and praise the ultimate Heavenly Father.

Fathers Day 2013