Thursday, September 29, 2011

Life as a single mom

I officially have a new respect for single moms!

What do I mean? Well, my husband had to go to San Francisco for a 4 day business trip this past week and boy did I miss him. Now of course I love my husband and I always miss him if he has to go out of town. If it happens to be that time of the month, I may even shed a few tears when he leaves but usually it is not that big of a deal when he has to travel. This week was a completely different story.

Being left at home with a 4 week old by myself was something that I will never ever forget!!! Let me give you a recap of my last few days. John abandoned left us on Sunday at 5:00am. That day went pretty smooth until the evening rolled around. Josselyn decided to get fussy around 7:00pm and then she decided to stay fussy until bedtime. I fed her and put her down at about 11:00pm, I figured that I was in the clear for the next 3 hours and then she would wake up to eat and then she typically immediately falls back asleep for another 3 hours and then she wakes up to eat and the cycle repeats itself for basically 24 hours lol (occasionally she may go 4 hours but then she will be sure to make up for that lapse in time and only go 2 hours before her next feeding). Well, Sunday night Josse woke up at 2:15am to eat, so I fed her like usual. After she ate I went to lay her back down in her bassinet when I noticed something odd....she was WIDE AWAKE! Usually after she eats she falls into a deep sleep but this kid was as wired as could be. I tried to do the good mom thing and rock her (that did not work) then I tried walking around and patting her (that did not work) then I decided to lay her next to me in bed (I guess that offended her because she started screaming bloody murder). To make a long story short my little angel baby decided to cry and fuss from 2:30am-5:30am!!! Now had John been there I would have woke him up, despite him having to work in the morning and I know he could have done something to calm Josselyn down or at least he could have kept me from falling apart (there is something terribly wrong when both mommy and daughter are crying in the rocking chair) lol. But John was in California and I was in Texas...ALONE! 

Lets skip to Tuesday another memorable day. Things started off ok. Josselyn and I had to go to the church for Masters Commission's "Meet the Staff" & then a church staff meeting. She actually slept for two hours there (which is normal...she typically takes three or four 2-3 hour naps a day!) Well after we left the church at about noon things went terribly wrong. I fed Josselyn and after that she normally knocks out for a couple hours but on Tuesday Josselyn decided to NOT SLEEP the entire day! This is not normal for my child. I could not get her to nap for more than 15 minutes the entire day!!! She just fussed and fussed and fussed. I seriously felt like I had lost my mothers touch :( My girlfriends could calm her down more then I could!!! (and that does not sit well with a new mom) Well the evening rolled around and we had to go to Invictus our college service. Lets just say I was running late because Josse wanted to eat longer than usual. I ended up having to cut her "dinner" short and that made her extremely mad (I know, I know that's awful). Well as I was about to walk out the door I noticed that she had a dirty diaper so I stopped to quickly change her on the couch (BIG MISTAKE). As I was changing her she decided to start peeing everywhere!!! Yes she peed on the couch, on me, on her cute outfit, everywhere & I was already late as it was. I started to panic & I was too scared to change her clothes because she was already screaming & when she is worked up and I change her clothes it makes her even more mad so I left her in PEE PEE CLOTHES (what on earth was I thinking?!?!) So I have a daughter socked in pee who then cried the whole way to church. Oh yah and my poor child developed a diaper rash so that may have added to the reason why she was so mad (at this point I felt like a total unfit mother). Once we got to church I quickly went to the meeting I was supposed to be at 15 minutes earlier. After the meeting I went to try and calm down my child before our Invictus service started. I knew I had to feed her again since the poor child was still hungry! Once I finished feeding her I stood up & she spit up everywhere! It was on her already pee pee clothes (which were black!) I tried to clean her off but it was near impossible :( Well, Josse was fussy all service and then the entire way home. Once we got home I was beyond frazzled so I called my mom to come over and help me! Luckily my mom has a special touch with she bathed my child who was a complete mess and she tried to calm Josselyn down. By about midnight mom had Josse sound asleep (or so we thought). My mom left, I was sound asleep, and Josselyn was in her bassinet. Unfortunately within 15 minutes Josse was crying again! Luckily my mom came back over and was able to really get Josselyn to sleep this time (I know it's pretty pathetic that my mom had to help me put my daughter to sleep!) I swear that I usually do great at calming Josse down and putting her to sleep. I think that something had her upset; maybe it was the fact that she had not slept at all that day, or it could have been the diaper rash, or maybe it was the pumpkin spice latte I had that morning that was not decaf, or it could have been the ice cream I ate that did have some chocolate in it...who knows. 

The next day was not quite as bad although my house looked like a zoo! If you saw my living room you would laugh. I have the top of the line new and improved MaMa Roo swing sitting out as well as the $60 old school "whip lash" swing from a garage sale. I seriously use both!!! Then I have a pink play mat sitting out that she likes to stare at (for about 10 minutes) as well as her Nap Nanny which she actually likes quite a bit (if I put her in it when she is asleep) lol. Then there is my outdoor white rocking chair! Yes...outdoor rocking chair not indoor rocking chair. You would think that Josselyn would like her custom made, cream, paisley glider that is sitting so nicely in her nursery...but for some reason my daughter prefers the Cracker Barrel wooden rocking chair that is meant to go outside on the front porch, not in my living room!!! Basically my living room is a disaster and that is very difficult for an OCD clean freak like myself :(

Well, some how we got through those 4 days without John (although it was not easy). It is amazing that the night John comes home Josselyn sleeps for 5 hours straight and is back to being a little angel during the day lol Maybe she was fussy becasue she was missing her daddy...who knows! But like I said at the beginning of this blog, I have a new respect for single mom's! How do they do it?!?! I could barely make it through those few days and I only have 1 child, my mom lives down the street and I had friends at the house helping me (I think I may be a total wuss). The bottom line is that it is not an easy task being a mama and babies are no joke!

With all of that said, I once again have a new appreciation for my husband!!! Things are so much easier when he is around and I am not a total basket case. I am hoping and praying that he does not have any more work trips any time soon...

In her cute outfit before she peed & spit up
But like I have said before I wouldn’t trade being a mom for the world!

Grandma coming to the rescue to bathe poor dirty Josse! lol

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