Sunday, September 4, 2011

The birth of baby Josselyn 8/26/2011

The BIG DAY finally arrived...

Well I could not Blog about my whole pregnancy and not Blog about the birth of my little princess so here is the story of my labor & delivery!

It was Thursday August 25th & for some reason this day felt a little different. I was having contractions all through out the day (nothing to dramatic or painful) but I was having more contractions than normal. I also started having cramps (kinda like period cramps) and they would not stop! I tried to stay active & not just lay on the couch all day because I wanted Josse to come before my induction date which was Monday August 29th! Well anyways, I ran around all day with my mom, Gloria & Stacey. That evening Stacey and I decided to go on a walk to try and "walk Josse out". We power walked for about 3 miles. During the walk I was having contractions off and on but they were not excruciating yet so I figured they were still braxton hicks. When we finally came home my contractions started coming more regular and a bit stronger. Finally we decided to start keeping track of them and they were happening every 7 or 8 minutes. As time went on they started becoming more painful & it was really hard to breathe during each contraction (I was trying to remember my lamaze!!!) Once the contractions started coming 5 minutes apart I decided to jump in the shower. After my shower I tried to do my hair & make-up but things started to pick up fast & before I knew it I was having contractions every 4 minutes! At that point John quickly zipped up our suit case & we sped off to the hospital. In the car my contractions were getting worse. They were coming every 3 minutes & they hurt like crazy! I now knew the difference between braxton hicks & the real deal.

Mom & MaryBeth with Josse's diaper bag & welcome wreath!
Johns whole family with me before Josselyn was born
It is getting closer and closer

Once we checked into the hospital things only progressed faster and faster. It was about 12:00am at this point and my contractions were coming about every 2 minutes. They were so painful I could barely stand it. The nurses started monitoring the baby & my contractions and then they checked to see how dilated & effaced I was. I was only at a 2.5 and I was 90% effaced. I freaked out that these contractions were so painful and I was only dilated to a 2.5! But within 1 hour my contractions were even harder, I was throwing up and I dilated to a 5.5. I had never ever experienced this kind of pain before (it is seriously indescribable) so I decided to have an epidural. For some reason I was fearful of the epidural but that was NOTHING compared to the contractions. Anyways, after the epidural things got WAY BETTER. All of my friends & family started arriving to the hospital (even though it was only 4:00am!) lol. The girls all hung out in the room with me and we laughed, joked & had a really great time. By 5:00am I was dilated to an 8 and within two hours I was at a 10. I could not believe how easy this labor was going. I thought I was going to have a perfect delivery. My girlfriends helped me fix my hair do my make-up & now all I needed to do was push! (It was 7:00am by now)

All of my girlfriends hanging out in the room with me! I am almost at a 10
Had to do my hair & make-up before I started to push
John helping me out with my brush lol

Well all of a sudden things started to spiral downward. I could tell the nurses were concerned about something when thy checked me & then they asked who was going to be in the room when I delivered. I told them that my mom, mother in law (Gloria), sister (MaryBeth) & sister in law (Stacey) would all be in the room. The nurses then explained to me that the baby was not positioned correctly & even though I was ready to push I could not yet because the baby was stuck under my pubic bone facing the left. The nurses asked everyone else to leave the room and they wanted to try and put me in different positions to move the baby. I was slightly worried but John seemed really calm so that kept me some what calm. After about an hour of the nurses shifting me around they decided to check Josselyns position again. Unfortunately nothing seemed to change. I heard them talking to each other and then they came over to me and said that they were not able to rotate the baby so I was going to have to have a c-section or the doctor could possibly use forceps or a vacuum to suction her out. At that point I started crying...this was not my plan I absolutely did not want a c-section and I have heard horror stories about forceps! They then decided to have me test push to see what would happen.

As the prepared me to push, all I could think about was that maybe if I pushed hard enough they wouldn't have to use forceps or do a c-section. I was DETERMINED to push with all of my might. The nurses were completely blown away at how hard I pushed! They were all making jokes about how someone so small could push like that. They also asked if I was a dancer (which I am) becasue every time I pushed my toes would point lol. Anyways, I started to feel a glimmer of hope because the pushing was going so well but then everything changed. The babies heart beat started dropping every time I pushed. You could hear her heart beat go from 150 down to 50 each time I pushed. The nurses looked concerned and I heard one say go prep the c-section room. They called my doctor to immediately come and then they explained to me that her umbilical cord could be tied around something or something is causing it to get pressed every time I push. At this point I felt like all of my fears were coming true and it was getting harder and harder to stay calm.

Once my doctor came in, he examined me and said that the baby is positioned incorrectly coming out angled toward the left. He said that I could try to have her vaginally if he gave me an epesiotomy and used forceps or  a vacuum to get her out. I started bawling and I explained that I did not want an episiotomy & the doctors reply was, "well then we have to do a c-section".  I then realized that I had no choice so I said ok to the episiotomy. I began pushing & I knew that I was not yet in the clear. They had a room ready in case a c-section became necessary & I wanted to push so hard that they would not have to use anything to get the baby out with. So I was determined to be super woman. Things were going good but then all of a sudden Josselyn's heart beat dropped so within a matter of minutes they said push as hard as you can. I did and before I knew it she was almost out! The whole thing is really a blur to me, John has had to re-tell me the story. Basically God's hand was on this whole delivery. My doctor told John that had this been anyone else they would have had a c-section. My determination definitely paid off! The doctor did have to use a vacuum to help get Josselyn out but at least he did not have to use the forceps!!! Yes I had an episiotomy which turned into a 3rd degree tear along with 2 other tears and it took over an hour for the doctor to stitch me up, but I am still grateful becasue I know it could have been a lot worse.

Once they placed little Josselyn on my chest I can definitely say that this was all WORTH IT. All of the morning sickness, leg cramps, back aches, etc were such a small price to pay for this precious little gift. Sure it was painful (I am still in pain!) but I would do it all over again for my sweet little daughter. I know that I can never completely understand God's love for us but I now have a glimpse of what unconditional love feels like. There is nothing Josselyn could ever do to make me love her any less. My hearts desire is to love her, guard her, protect her & see her serve the Lord with her life. It is so amazing to feel this new kind of "mothers love" it is nothing like I have ever experienced. For now I am just trying to soak in every moment I have with my little princess. Every day she grows & changes so much (I almost wish that I could freeze time). Everyone keeps telling me that they do not stay little for very long so I am going to CHERISH & ENJOY every moment.

Thank heaven for little girls....

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